The End of the Madness

Things have been crazy around here to put it mildly. I'm naively hopeful that this is the end of an era of madness, but something tells me that I will look back at this time nostalgically as the beginning of an era of chaos. Over the last few months my husband and I found and bought a foreclosed home with a VA loan and financed through Wells Fargo. We quickly discovered that this is the Bermuda Triangle of home purchases, which is why my little blog has taken the back burner for the time being. I know you've all missed the Hannah updates- and it has been absolutely delightful watching her grow and reach age one, but if you're interested in hearing the back story behind our wonderfully terrible decisions it's about to begin.

We scoured the market for a deal and finally found our diamond in the rough "rough in the diamonds." With aspirations as high as the ceilings at Lowes we planned our renovation budget and made our offers. At that point Audrey's due date was a solid four months out and it seemed completely reasonable that we could refresh our beautiful home-to-be and get settled before her arrival. We spent the next months dodging bullets of every size attempting to secure our loan and finally purchase our house.

If you're not familiar with the VA Loan program, it's a fantastic benefit for Veterans to be able to purchase a home with many special caveats. Most notably, you can put no money down without paying for PMI, so you end up saving about $100 each month. There are lots of other great aspects the VA covers in your purchase, but you have to do your research, secure your own documentation, and stay on top of the bank. For example, veterans that receive monthly disability compensation do not have to pay a mortgage funding fee and there is a new energy efficiency loan that can be added into your mortgage to help cover the cost of an updated HVAC or similar item. The best resource for any of this information is the VA itself. There are regional offices that you can contact in order to get details on your options. That being said, the VA does have restrictions on the property condition and it is nearly impossible to purchase a foreclosed home because of this. However, if you're willing to fight with every person involved in your loan, you may be able to set up an escrow account to cover the cost of repairs so that you can do them after you take possession of the property.

Our experience with Wells Fargo has been severely negative. I'm going to forgo the bad-mouthing on this blog and simply say that I don't recommend them for anything banking related. Unfortunately the "convenience" of online banking has made it so that swapping banks would be an utter fiasco if I even tried, so we're stuck. However, in the end (only three weeks past our intended settlement date), we did end up with the paperwork for a mortgage! You don't even get keys at a closing when you buy a foreclosure so it ends up being a very anticlimactic finale to a long, stressful run.

Now we have been homeowners for two weeks and my husband has battled numerous house wars with the help of family and friends. The light at the end of the tunnel is that we have a brand new beauty of a kitchen and I haven't gone into labor yet. Audrey is itching to get out while I desperately try to keep her nestled in the womb for several more weeks. So we're attempting to balance bed rest with care for a one-year-old and all the delights of moving. Never a dull moment in our house, but it still feels good to call it our own.

10 Months Old

Hannah's 10 Month Day came and went on the 12th. I realized at that point I was 6 months behind in filling out her baby book (eek!) So I took the time I would normally dedicate to blogging and filled that in instead. Whew, glad I had the blog to reference.

9 Months Old!

It's amazing how much Hannah has grown in the last month. She's on the verge of crawling and is getting so mobile. Now that she rolls with ease and transfers from sitting to laying down she can get to anything. She shows her excitement by clapping, smiling, giggling, and even talking. Her favorite word is "Heyyy!" She can also say, "up" and "mama." It's clear that she understands a lot of the words I use regularly, too. Since she hears "all gone" at the end of each meal, she beams with pride and sometimes even claps.

Hannah was a little trooper for the longest drive we've taken yet. We traveled 17 hours down the coast with many stops over the course of a few days. Now that we're enjoying some fun in the sun and nice weather we can spend more time outside. The place where I notice how much she's growing is always the playground. Each time we go she develops an interest in a new activity. First she liked to swing, now she's interacting with other kids and balancing while I hold her on the climbing toys. It's only a matter of time before she swings along the monkey bars!

For now, there is so much for her to discover and explore, but it's all happening so quickly. It seems like every day she rolls a little further or pulls herself up a little higher. I can't wait to share in her excitement and enthusiasm for learning about the world around her as she continues to grow into a sweet little girl.

Maternity Shopping Tip Recap

A few months ago I wrote a post on my maternity shopping suggestions as I was stashing away the last of my maternity clothes. I'm in week 14 of this pregnancy and I'm expanding quickly! To be honest, I got out all my maternity clothes a few weeks ago. It's common knowledge that second pregnancies show much quicker because your abs have lost the original elasticity that held them in the first time around. Sad to say, even 5 weeks of Lindsay Brin's postnatal bootcamp were not enough to tighten and tone my abs and prevent this. However, I am happy that I tracked my belly growth with a Mommy Measure the first time around! This little tool is an adorable keepsake for your baby book and a reassuring device. No, I'm not actually as big as I was in the third trimester yet even though I feel that way.

I recommend that you read the full post on Maternity Shopping for the best details, but the keys to success are planning and organization! Since it's hard to guess exactly what size you will be at a certain time, stick with basics or items with elasticity. Most maternity stores design clothes to fit through several trimesters, so don't be tricked into buying a size up. If it doesn't fit now- there's a chance it won't fit later either depending on how you grow.

You'll want to organize your closet with only items that you can actually wear and frequently pull out those that you outgrow. If you don't have space to stash those clothes, at least separate all the items to one side so that you can easily find something to wear. Don't forget that you'll need maternity clothes post-partem as well.

Happy shopping :) Did you take advantage of any post-Holiday sales?

Hannah's Birth Story: Part 3

Hannah arrived in Part 2 of this series, so we're done- right? Not even close!

A disappointing misconception within the general population is that the birth process ends when the baby arrives. Both neonatal care and maternal care would benefit from a huge overhaul within the hospital system. The main reason I've already decided that any future births for this family will take place with a midwife was the poor care we received directly after the birth and the non-existent follow-up care after leaving the hospital. Granted, this is not a decision I could have been confident about for my first birth because of nerves and a family history of c-sections. However, it's one I will gladly make in the future. It's because I'm selfish and I would like to have attentive, personalized care for both me and my baby. Call me crazy.

(Editor's Note: Jeannette has the utmost respect for individuals in the health care profession. Many of the people she encountered during her stay were wonderful and professional. Her criticism is of the system that prevents personal attention. In general, I try to keep the messages on this blog light and positive. Unfortunately, this post will not have the same tone. I encourage you to read anyway because the more people are aware of this issue, the better chance there will be for change. After all, Maternal and Infant patients make up 38% of the healthcare industry's yearly visitors. Don't we deserve better?)

To be honest, it only hit me about 4 months ago that my maternity care was below par. I suppose I was living in "maternal bliss" and thinking about how wonderful it was to HAVE a baby! Who cared if I got off to a rough start with breast feeding? Did it matter that my recovery seemed to drag on longer than it should have? Would it really have helped to have a follow-up in-home visit to make sure I wasn't at risk for some of the most painful nursing problems one can experience? Not in my mind! As long as I had a healthy baby, that was all that mattered. Looking back, I can't help but feel mistreated and I found out I'm not alone. The CDC is pressing for improvements within the system. There's even a group to establish the Maternal Health Accountability Act of 2011. Everyone comes into this world the same way, so this affects us all. It is more important than any other political act- but we have yet to hear about it in the presidential debates.

I'm not going to claim to be an expert on this subject, or submit a 932 page proposal to congress for a complete overhaul of the system. It just seems that in a country that touts superiority in the world, we should be much higher on the patient satisfaction scale for this type of care and we're not. Why am I dissatisfied? My visits from the nurses were few and far between. They were rushed, forgetful, and disorganized (presumably because there were too few nurses for the number of patients.) It was more difficult to get regular Tylenol because it wasn't on a list of standard drugs that new mothers could receive. I didn't receive any topical treatments for my "bottom" until the second day, because it wasn't clear that this was something I could ask for. When the only positive things I can say regarding the maternity ward are about the hospital food, you have to wonder if this was really a decent situation.

Enough about me, let's talk about Hannah's care. We were at a "rooming-in" hospital that promotes closeness of the mother and baby by encouraging you to have your baby in the room as much as possible. I can't imagine what it's like at other hospitals, because I barely got to spend more than 2 hours at a time with Hannah. It was really difficult because I had to attempt to nurse her for 20 minutes, then pump for 15 minutes, then feed her a bottle for about 20 minutes. By the time we changed a diaper and got her re-swaddled (another 20 minutes #newparenthood), it was practically time to get her back to the nursery and then start all over. Not only was the feeding process difficult and time consuming, but the assistance came in quick bursts of an overwhelming amount of information.

In my county, there are 5 hospitals. Only 2 still offer Lactation Consultant services (one is part time.) During my stay, I didn't see a consultant until nearly 12 hours after Hannah's birth. I also saw three different consultants, each with different suggestions. I was given hurried details about using a pump to stimulate production and a shield to better fit my nipple to Hannah's mouth. It's no wonder we weren't able to get a proper latch without those items- they only spent 1/2 hour with me at a given time. There is also no follow up care available to nursing mothers through the hospital. If you need support (which we did), you must see a lactation consultant at the rate of $150 for one hour. Starting next year, this service will be mandatory for health care to cover. It's good to know that issues like this are being addressed and improved for the future.

Thankfully I had the support of my husband through it all. He fed Hannah many times and immediately developed a wonderful bond with her. He is totally onboard for taking a more natural approach to our next birth. In fact, because of his general loss of confidence in the political system and his love of the outdoors he's hopeful that Armegeddon is around the corner, and I think he would happily deliver our baby on his own.

I have to hope that better care is out there. If you had a great experience and you shared it on a blog, please post a link in the comments. I'm not discouraged from having another baby, and I still regard this as one of the best experiences of my life, but I think that Mothers should be treated less like surgery patients and given the option to blissfully bring new life into this world with positive care practices.

What Healthcare Reform Means to Me

I loved having an unmedicated birth for Hannah and I plan to do it again. It took about a month for me to realize that I was dissatisfied with the care I received in the hospital because they're really not equipped or experienced with that type of labor. (Read Birth Story Part #3.) I decided to look into a Midwife practice since they are the experts in helping healthy women through a healthy labor.

In my first meeting with the midwife, I came prepared with a million questions. I was pleasantly surprised to learn about midwifery. It's not an antiquated practice. She monitors your health through routine prenatal visits similar to those with an OB. She is able to order blood tests, ultrasounds, administer rhogam injections for those with O- blood type, and has the training to recognize risk factors that might lead a woman to deliver in the hospital instead. After the baby is born, she will offer the same general infant care that a hospital and pediatrician would perform for the first few days of life. She even provides the routine injections that babies receive at the parent's discretion. On top of all this, she'll teach me how to have a natural birth and offer coaching throughout labor. Hopefully this will result in a less-smashed nose on Baby #2 upon exit!

Knowing all this, it should have been an easy decision. However, I got sticker shock. All in, the cost nears $4000 and insurance companies rarely cover any of this. I knew that the services were worth this price, but it's a daunting number to swallow with a second baby on the way in a one-income household. We brainstormed ways to make it work, but ultimately it seemed like the easiest way to move forward would be with the same practice and same hospital I used for Hannah.

Enter Obamacare.

I booked my first prenatal visit and entered a counseling session for billing details. Thanks to a change in my husband's insurance, we were looking at a grand total of $5000+ to deliver in the hospital. Even last year, with the best insurance Cigna offered, we still paid more than $2000 for the birth. The billing rep let me know that these changes have only come about in the last 2 years. In the past, births routinely cost insured families $200 to $500 total. Although Cigna appears to be the worst, nearly every insurance company has changed the plans offered to non-government employees to defray the majority of the costs back to the families, to the tune of 10 times the cost.

A light at the end of the tunnel.

After digesting the scary numbers, we've decided to move forward with a home birth under the supervision of a midwife. I'm happy that we are going this route because I truly believe that this is the best birth plan for our family. When I spoke with the billing rep from my OB's practice to let her know I was switching providers she told me that she expects to see this happening more and more frequently. That's the main reason I'm sharing this information. From personal experience, I can say that I believe a non-medicated birth is the best way for a healthy mother to deliver a healthy baby. I recommend that all parents-to-be take the time to learn about natural birth. Even if you don't choose this route, you are sure to learn ways to improve your health and your labor.

My motivation for a birth without medical intervention.

33 Weeks Old!

I've spent a lot of time the past month sleeping and/or in a sleep-deprived, zombie state. Thankfully, Hannah continues to nap regularly through the day (knock on wood!) so I am able to catch up on some extra sleep that way as Baby #2 drains my energy. I am eagerly looking forward to the second trimester! Hannah has been a wonderful sport and it's so inspiring to see her grow. She's learning quickly now. One of the exciting new developments is her emerging personality. She's finding more and more humor in the games we play and stories we read. Plus, she can now show that she is proud of herself with a beaming smile!

I noticed early in the week that she was enjoying tickles more than ever. Then she laughed and laughed as I stretched and bent her little limbs. She's been such a good little eater that I've been able to regularly say, "All gone" at the end of her meals. She figured out what that meant quickly and now she responds with a proud smile! Hannah is mostly only mobile by rolling and stretching, but she can get around that way. I was surprised to watch her grasp and pull at toys that seemed out of her reach.